Kitty Says Ouch!

Thursday, October 12, 2006
Today I decided to treat myself to a trip to the spa. My choice of the word "treat" seems hilarious in retrospect. On schedule for today was waxing, specifically underarm and bikini. My brother has probably developed a sick feeling at this point if he's reading this post. Dave - it only gets worse...turn away now.

Back to my story. I don't get waxed on a regular basis - who can afford it? I have student loans, credit cards and rent to pay. Keeping my delicate areas smooth for the non-existant man in my life is at the bottom of my priorities when doing up a monthly budget. However, I prefer it much more than shaving. It lasts longer, no nasty cuts or razor burn, and it's smooooooooooth. :-) Generally, if I have any free money to spend on myself and I decide to wax something, it'll be underarms first and then the bikini. I lucked out this month and had enough to do both.

The esthetician I went to see at my "usual" spa, Avanti, was not the girl who has done it in the past. Unfortunately she wasn't available when I made the appointment but I didn't want to wait more than a day so I took whoever was available. The lucky lady today was T. I have to say that she was great - fast, just a tiny bit of chitchat, some tips, no nonsense attitude and she was slightly chubby like me. I was a bit thrown off however when she took me to the waxing room. Normally, they'll leave you alone to put on a wrap-y thing after removing all of your clothes expect your undies. Not T. Nope. We walked into the back room, she closed the door and ordered me to remove my pants. Ja mein Kommandant!!! I removed my clothes and hopped up on the table.

She wasted no time at all and whipped my left leg into the proper position. "How much do we want to take off today?" she asked. We? I thought. What we? Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed hold of the side of my underwear and whipped them out of the way, practically ensuring a frontal wedgie. She started poking me. "Here? Here?" I never know what the "right" amount is so I suggested she do what she thought was appropriate without removing it all. I'm not going to bore you with all the gruesome details but I was amazed. She finished my bikini wax in about 5 minutes. As I lay there tensing against the pain as T ripped out what Mother Nature had given me, I wondered what the hell I was doing. Here I was, paying a strange woman to poke around my crotch, rip out my hair with hot wax, and hurt my most delicate of areas. Before I had time to reconsider, she was done. Too late now. Oh wait, then it was on to my underarms...which shockingly enough is also delicate....we women are crazy.

Let me just say that this woman really went to town on my crotch. I'm not complaining - boys, it's a work of art. However, she was waxing places that I didn't even know grew hair, attacking from all sides. Yikes!
Guys, I hope this provides you with a little bit of insight into what we women go through to look good for you. Next time you notice a particular part of your wife's, girlfriend's, one night stand's body is delightfully smooth and soft, think about what she had to go through to get to that point. Give her a little extra attention down there will ya? Take a little time to enjoy the view.


Lynn said...

Great Post!
I was wincing and laughing at the same time.
It is hard to smile when my nose is crinkled and my eyes are almost shut.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh cringe! I have to admit I've never tried waxing and now I'm not all that sure I want to either.

Umm, I don't imagine you took photos?

* (asterisk) said...

Yeah, waxing souns like a whole heap of fun. Great post. Thanks for... um... sharing, Karen.

* (asterisk) said...

"sounds", I meant. Jeez, I've really got typo fever today.

Wandering Coyote said...

Yikes! I think I'll stick with shaving! Glad you treated yourself to something, though.

Red said...

I've never had a bikini or underarm wax so I cannot possibly comment on the indignity of it all (though I have a pretty good idea, having been for smears etc...), but I've had my legs waxed, and I loved it! No pain at all, and they were hair-free for weeks. But you're right, who can afford it on a regular basis? I tried the wax home kit, but it's really messy. Last time I used a cream, I got a rash, so now I'm back to razors...

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