It's Spring...Please Shower

Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I was the first of the regulars to arrive at my bus stop this morning. That means I get first crack at the best spot to stand in order to hop on the bus. I’m a big supporter of the “first come, first served” theory. Exceptions for parents with small kids/strollers, the elderly, and the disabled naturally. Other than that, get behind me and start staring at my butt folks because if I was there before you, I’ll do whatever I can to make you wait your turn. A few moments later, Leather Man showed up. We have now moved on to the impersonal greeting stage and exchanged our “good mornings. He still wears too much cologne but knows better than to stand close enough for me to smell it. Smart man. A strange lady followed him to the bus stop. I didn’t pay her much attention other than to note she was not one of the usual suspects. She walked past me and stood on the other side of the bench, waiting.

As I awaited the arrival of my transportation, a dark cloud slowly wafted my way. It’s spikey tendrils tickled my sensitive nostrils as the rest of it sneaked up behind me, eventually enveloping my entire head with it’s stench. I can think of no other way to describe the smell of this woman other than old man cologne. It was worse than walking into my Grampie’s bathroom. I had to surpress the urge to run screaming from the bus stop in order to protect my delicate olfactory senses. The remnants of this mornings breakfast threatened to make a repeat performance. Now, before anyone decides to start telling me that I should have more consideration for my fellow travelers’ body odor issues, it was NOT BO. It was clearly a scent that this woman had, quite generously, applied and had done so intentionally. I’m willing to forgive some riders the occasional BO issues but this was soooo not one of those situations. Upon closer inspection, she was dressed fairly well, likely headed to work in one of the many downtown office buildings.

If you can smell your own perfume (or cologne, or BO), it’s too strong. Your own nose should become quickly acclimatized to the scent so that you no longer smell it. When will people learn? Also, I wish people would learn that not every scent smells good on every person and will often react with the oils in an individuals skin to create an entirely unique smell. Other rules to abide by? Hmm, how about don’t leave bottles of scent in direct sunlight and if you’ve had the same bottle for ten years – throw it away. Its gone bad! I would recommend that you don’t keep it longer than a year. People, people people! Think before you stink please!

In other news, Spring will officially arrive here in Alberta at 6:07 PM MST. Yay. Perhaps the showers it is supposed to bring will get rid of the smell of the overly stinkified.

Also, Discovery News is reporting the Zahi Hawass, chief of Egypt’s Supreme Council of Antiquities has announced he will open two sealed doors located inside the Great Pyramid in Giza. I remember that little robot with the camera they sent in years ago that were stopped by the presence of the doors in two separate shafts. Definitely something to look forward to and keep my eyes open for over the next year. I’ll keep you updated. Hopefully it won’t turn be reminiscent of Geraldo opening Al Capone’s vault…

Update on the Federal budget fiasco - Seems the Bloc has decided they WILL support the budget proposed by the Conservatives. Hmmm, I don't suppose that decision has anything to do with Flaherty's announcement that Quebec would be receiving approximately $700 million dollars, more than twice the amount of any other province. Interesting, n'est pas?

4 comments:

Pickled Olives said...

OMG!!! I can smell a smell a mile away. I smell my food, my glasses and cups before I pour a drink incase there is soapy residue. I am so sensitive to odor I abhor people who pack on fragrance as if they are trying to mask the smell of poo. I don't know how you were able to stay on that bus.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well I believe you already know how I feel about the perfume issue haha. How odd that we both wrote about smelly perfume-abusers today. "think before you stink" - beautiful.

Red said...

When our neighbour goes out with her girlfriends, we can smell her (cheap) perfume from across the walls. Can you believe it?! I reckon she showers in it.

Having said that, I think you probably would think I overdo it too. * is always able to identify exactly what I'm wearing just by having a quick bloodhound-like sniff...

* (asterisk) said...

I have a delicate nose. I can smell ANYTHING at 100 paces! The faintest hint, and i'm like, "Can I smell x?" Red thinks I'm paranoid, but one day my nose will SAVE US ALL!

And what is with people who smell of BO before they even get to work in the morning? Jeez Louise!

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