Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous - Ep 1 - Big Brother Dave

Thursday, March 13, 2008
I'm starting a new series here on board the Swiftsure, Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous. Every week I'm hoping to interview a new person with the wackiest, zaniest questions imaginable...within reason. Who better to begin with than the man himself, my big brother, David. He's a little cooky, slightly cocky, and often exposes himself at various gatherings. Read on to learn a little bit more about what makes this dude tick...

1. Name, Rank, Serial Number
Big Brother David; super goober of the snot; 007.234765

2. Just how many Dave's have you known?
Everyone has the potential to be a Dave, so all of them.

3. Describe in excruciating detail your most embarrassing moment.
What is this embarrassment that you talk of?

4. How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie roll?
Less than it takes to get to the centre of a person. Less messy as well. But not as tasty.

5. If you could have dinner with anyone (real/fictional, dead/alive), who would it be, where would you take them, and what would they order for dessert?
Freddie Mercury - we'd go where he wanted to go and then he'd probably order me for dessert - cheeky bastard.

6. Do you think Jesus would have preferred Coke or Pepsi, or would he be a Fresca man?
Jesus drinks Coke - he told me himself.

7. If you were a D & D (or AD & D) character, what race/class would you be and why would your name likely be Telvalco?
Half elf wizard - I'd be named Telvalco because the name strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies and lust into the loins of women. And because it sounds cool.

8. What is your own personal alignment?
I refuse to answer that on the grounds that some high and mighty paladin might come along and try to smite my ass.

9. Is Elvis really dead?
Of course not - he lives in the hearts and souls of us all.

10. Tell a true story about the Captain. And not the one where she mooned the entire school…
All of my stories will get me injured.

11. Why do you routinely "drop trou" at parties, get-togethers, and friendly gatherings? And aren't you worried about all those photos of you doing this on the internet?
THE DAVE must share his greatness with everyone.

12. Explain why, in your youth, you threw a rusty dart into the back of the Captain's leg, where it got stuck, hanging at a grotesque angle, until she managed to stop screaming and pull it out.
So that she would have something to complain about in her old age. Plus, it builds character. And it's not my fault that she didn't learn to properly dodge.

13. What can I do to convince you to join the Dark Side?
Join? I'm already a card carrying member.

14. Mastermind pegs, a BB Rifle, and a basement with only one exit. Discuss.
See answer # 12.

15. If someone wrote a biography about you, what would the title be?
The Dave : musing about a Spud muffin

Stay tuned for the next exiting episode! Who will it be...


* (asterisk) said...

He seems all right, that big brother of yours. Rusty darts notwithstanding.

mister anchovy said...

I agree with *(asterisk)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

So glad that The Dave has shared with greatness with all of us. No lack of sass on that boy!

Tanya Espanya said...

This is the Dave I know I know, this is the Dave I know.

Actually, I don't know Dave, but he seems all right.

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