Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous - Ep4 - Pokecheck

Thursday, March 27, 2008
Arrr, all ye scurvy dogs! Welcome back to the next exciting installment of Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous. Now is the time on Schprockets when we dance. I mean, um, now is the time when yer Capt'n sits down with some of the regular members of me crew and gets to know 'em just a wee bit better. Yo ho ho, a bottle of rum, and a tape recorder.... And yes, I know I said that they'd be published on Sunday/Mondays but I've got a number of them ready to go so why should ye be deprived of yer booty?

This week's guest is Pokecheck. Big hockey fan. Big BIG hockey fan. I wouldn't recommend walking down a dark alley in North Carolina if you've bad-mouthed her 'Canes. She might just follow you into that alley armed with a hockey mask and a big stick. It's why I can't ever go to there...she's waiting for me....

1. Name, favourite type of bug, jersey number.

My new favorite bug is the exotic creature known as the Tuomo Ruutu, who now wears jersey number 15 for the Hurricanes. Those seeking to communicate with the Ruutu generally do so by yelling “RUUUUUUUU!” This is what Ruutu looked like the day after his first game as a Hurricane. He delivered a huge hit on his first shift, got an assist, and then had his face sliced open by Patrik Elias' stick.

2. The Carolina Hurricanes? Really?
And The Captain serves up a little snark!

3. What makes a true Caniac? You may have to define Caniac...
A Caniac is a die-hard Hurricanes fan, just like fans of other teams - we just have a handy nickname. Caniacs tailgate before games, be it December or June. Caniacs stood up for the entirety of Game 7 in the 2005-06 finals. And there were between 30 and 40 thousand of us at the party the next day. Last season, when the Hurricanes were definitely not going to the playoffs, the RBC Center was still sold out for the last game of the season. That's a Caniac. Some Caniacs proudly wear t-shirts that read “Redneck Hockey” even though that’s really fucking stupid. I am not that type of Caniac.

4. Name three things, other than hockey, that North Carolina is famous for and why they're considered famous.
The Wright Brothers first flight, Pepsi, and Bull Durham. None of these require explanation. I would hope.

5. I'm still bitter about the Oilers' loss to Carolina in the 2005-06 Stanley Cup Finals. How can I get over this?
You can't. It will hurt forever. It should also hurt you deeply to know that Sergei Samsonov, who played on that Oilers team, is now scoring close to a point a game as a Hurricane.

6. Is Marc-Andre Bergeron considered a celebrity down there?
Haha. Destroyed his own goalie and deflected the puck into his own net during the Stanley Cup finals in 2006 - he's a Hurricanes fan at heart.

7. I'm coming to visit (not really, sorry)!!! What three fabulous dishes are you going to make for me...or are we just going to order pizza?
Eastern NC barbecue - we'll have a pig pickin'(I know, dear Captain, that you are a sometime-vegetarian, but you can go to town on these tasty side dishes: mustard potato salad, hushpuppies and/or cornbread, coleslaw, corn on the cob, collard greens, watermelon, strawberry shortcake, and homemade peach ice cream) Shrimp and grits - this recipe comes from a long-standing NC restaurant of greatnessMy mom's cheapo fall-back dessert - Cool-whip and yogurt pie

8.Mike Commodore's hair, aka the Red Afro. Discuss.
Commie and Youppi. Separated at birth.

From what I understand, that's something he has been doing for years. Shaves it off during the summer, grows it out all season. Now that Mikey is tanking in Ottawa, I’m not sure that his crazy afro and locker room bathrobe can redeem him in the eyes of the fans.My hair resembles that ('cept mine is brown) when I wake up, but I think I use more styling products than Mr. Commodore to tame my coif.

9. Why do some NHL teams have cheerleaders?

Because sex sells. Thankfully, the Hurricanes' cheerleaders are pretty benign/family friendly. Unlike the skanks employed by the 'Hawks, Stars, Coyotes and Islanders - yeesh.

10. Now that the Americans have taken over hockey, are there plans in the works to dominate curling next?
No. That's all you, Canada.

11. Jason Voorhees was obviously a goalie given the Jacques Plante style mask he wore in 1980's Friday the 13th. The real question is what original 6 team would he have played for and why?
Original 6 - Boston. Today - Anaheim. Think about it.

12. Do you really get a lot of hurricanes in Carolina? I don't normally associate the two...
We usually get a few hurricanes each year but it's not something I generally associate with the state either. I also don't understand why the Hurricanes' mascot is this mythical creature known as an "ice hog."Obviously, nobody consulted me during the early marketing stages of this team's existence.

13. Alberta's known for it's "Big Things": the giant Easter Egg (Pysanka), giant perogie on a fork, giant kielbasa... What is your favourite Ukranian food?
I am a crazy person for the pierogies. Apparently, so is The Great One. I could bathe in beef stroganoff. Is that TMI?

14. In the early days of my visits to your blog, you seemed to have a habit of "bedazzling" various items. What's the favourite thing you've bejewelled and what one item which you haven't already done, would you like to do?
Favorite bedazzling project has to be Guitart. I'm currently bedazzling a purse to go with Disco Shu and Heart of Glass. I'd love to get a mini hockey stick soon and go to work on that. Possibly get really ambitious and buy a cheap jersey and tacky that thing up big time. A goalie mask might be more do-able. I bet Ray Emery isn’t going to be using his for a while – heh.

15. You're on a date with Don Cherry (don't ask). Where do you go for dinner, what's your appetizer and what colour plaid is his jacket?
Don Cherry might merit a trip to the closest McDonald's drive thru at best. We'd sit in the parking lot to eat (I'm not taking him to my apartment) and I'd be sure to pack some GRAPES to go with our meal.Don's jacket would likely be some bastardization of a lovely Scottish plaid, but it would end up vomit colored, because I would throw up all over him just on general principle.


Red said...

A ginger Afro... wow, now I've really seen it all.

Pokecheck said...

Ha! That picture you picked for "me" is hilarious.

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