Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous - Ep 12 - Jody

Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The final installment of our Interview series belongs to someone I've known longer than anyone other than family. And probably who knows me better than my own family... frightening the things she could tell you. I present to you, Jody. Aka Jodi. Aka Jody of the no-blog. She and I met in grade 10 math class when she asked if she could sit beside me. We won't discuss what her hair looked like at that time or her questionable choice in school crushes. But then we were young and thought we were hip and cool (dare I mention my neon mismatched socks?). We became best buddies in no time and despite a few rough rides along the way, we're still friends 21 years later. Holy crap has it been that long since we met? EEEEEEK!!! I'm getting old... We're completely opposite in so many ways (neat and tidy - her, messy and sloppy, me; hair done/make up on before she faces the world...lucky if I have hair on at all and what's make up?, the list goes on and on), And yet we still have so much in common even now. Despite the presence of husbands, kids, and cats, and being a province apart, we still manage to keep it together. Jody, you rock my world. Take it away...

1. Name, # of piercings, meaning of middle name
- Jody Milana NonBlogger
- 12 piercings (9 occupied - ears, nose & tongue; eyebrow has been long forgotten along with an extra in each ear)
- Middle name is supposedly Czechoslovakian and means "gracious" (yeah right!)

2. Powertool or Pizza Boy? The pizza boy DOES deliver…
I remember watching "Powertool" when I was a teenager - wasn't it a prison porno that didn't involve women? (gasp - I'm so glad I no longer watch such vulgar cinema...) Don't want the Pizza Boy either - the anticipation is exciting but the 'delivery' tends to be quick and disappointing (and never enough cheese).

3. If you had to choose one of the two Barbarian Brothers to shack up with, which would you choose and why do I get stuck with the other one?
Sigh, 20 years later and I still cannot erase their horribly annoying laugh out of mind! You can have them both!

4. What do you want on your Tombstone?
"Love it or shove it"
"Necrophilia anyone?"
"Mushrooms, ham and bacon"

5. You’re a modern day Snow White – please name your own personal 7 dwarves.
Funny, Handy, Horny, Hung (he's the Asian one), Crazy, Spanky, and Wealthy.

6. What ever happened to your massive Fido Dido plastic slurpee cup collection from the Mac’s convenience store?
Alas, my poor Fido Dido, where have you gone? Your smooth cool body once fit so perfectly in my hands, filling me with your sweet refreshing rootbeer slushiness. Does your non-biodegradable eyes look up to the stars from a landfill in Alberta somewhere, yearning for my warm embrace once more?

7.Create a new holiday and provide the background for this special occasion.
Fornication Day. This day off is in celebration of 'la petite mort"...all day long...over and over...just cause....

8. You’ve been involved in a serious car crash and are in a coma. You wake up 10 years later. How has the world changed?
I'll have to buy a new iPod and DVD player. Gas is up to $10/litre. All the cows are 'mad', there is no housing, and the US has found weapons of mass destruction in Canada.

9. Describe our high school’s carpet.
Like a circus clown party-puked all over the place.

10. What’s your favourite misheard lyric (eg: there’s a bathroom on the right/massage in a brothel)?
I mishear nothing. I correctly hear everything incorrectly.

11. Assholes playing Asshole. Discuss.
The best part of my entire high school experience.

12. Someone breaks into your home but rather than stealing your stuff, they start leaving notes about your housekeeping habits. What does the first one say?
How can you have only one kid with all these toys around!?
Please tell me that's ketchup on your kitchen floor!
Laundry. NOT to be collected like stamps or bottle caps.

13. What’s the best thing about being a man (and yes, I DO realize you’re a woman)?
Peeing in a bottle/cup while driving on the Coquihalla highway because there is no available bathroom for hours...

14. What is so funny about always adding soy sauce to my coke when I would go to the bathroom whenever we had lunch at the China Doll restaurant?
How do you remember these things? It feels like you are reminding me of one of my past lives! China Doll. God, what great egg rolls they had! Freakin' horrible bathrooms. BTW - soy sauce in your coke - that was hilarious!!!!!

15.Ninjas – world’s deadliest assassins or just a pack of bums too lazy to get out of their jammies?
I've never seen one therefore they do not exist.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Now I want to go find someone's coke in which to put soy sauce. Brilliant!

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