Fedora of the Gods

Saturday, June 07, 2008
Plot summary: Indiana Jones proves Erich von Daniken was correct.

I can't believe it took them 19 years to make a new Indiana Jones movie and THIS is what they give us. Are you seriously kidding me? I never thought I'd utter these words but ... Temple of Doom was better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. That's just how terrible the plot of this movie. The two guys coming out of the theatre behind us said "The Nazis were WAY better than the Russians. That was bad."

Here's everything you need to know so you won't have to waste your time and money like we did:
- Grandpa Jones is dead
- Indy is old but manages to survive a nuclear blast by hiding inside a lead lined refrigerator
- Marion Ravenwood FINALLY makes another appearance ('bout time, frankly) and she and Indy end up together in the end
- She has a son and YES Indy is the father
- Cate Blanchett's Russian accent was terrible
- Aliens gave South Americans their technology
- Shia LeBoeuf combs his hair. A lot.

I don't care if you're upset that there's some big spoilers there. The way I look at it, I'm performing a public service by telling you about so you don't waste time, money, and brain cells. Go and read Chariots of the Gods. You'll save on the cost of popcorn. The movie, despite the usual Indiana Jones action (which, aside from the reappearance of Karen Allen was the only good thing of this movie), was pure and utter SHIT. Avoid at all costs.


Wandering Coyote said...

Thanks for the heads up. I wasn't going to see it anyways because I was sure it would be bad, but this just confirms it.

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