Growing Green Things, the Green Green Grass of Home, Minty Green Panties and Gangrenous Toes

Sunday, June 01, 2008
Greetings and Salutations my peeps. Ah screw it, I'm not feeling particularly super duper today ... just a bit 'meh' as they say. Why you might ask? Well, the Penguins bombed yet again last night and now the series heads back to Detroit where the great red machine is liable to run over Sid the Kid, Malkin, and the rest of the young crew. On top of that, I had bought the wrong weight of yarn for the unnamed holiday project #2 (and 3 and 4) so I've had to rip out my all the hard work I did this weekend. Found the correct weight today but not the exact colours I wanted so I had to do some switching around. As a result, I'm behind schedule but Mom is the proud recipient of four balls of lovely worsted-weight yarn that she can use to make whatever the hell she wants to. And then there's the book situation. I just finished an ok bit of mindless fiction, started to try and read a book I've been really looking forward to, Women of the Raj, only to be greatly disappointed after 50 pages so it's going back to the library. Thank goodness I've got two other books, courtesy of blogger buddies, that look very interesting.

The garden is doing very well. Watered again tonight after dinner. You have no idea how happy I'll be once the city turns the water on in our garden so we no longer have to haul bottles/buckets of water downstairs. No pics sorry as there's not much change since the last set. However, we did see two bunnies the other evening and one of the flowers I planted on the balcony is starting to bloom. I'll try and snap a shot tomorrow night.

Only two more sleeps until Tom Jones. Surprisingly I'm not that excited...yet. Don't worry. It'll happen. I've already picked out my outfit for the concert. I might even wear a smidge of makeup. Scary thought, isn't it. Did you know that Sir Tom has apparently insured his chest hair with Lloyds of London? Weird. I would have thought he would have insured something a bit ... lower. Bought some lovely new lacey underwear today (no, no pictures) which mom thought I had picked up in order to have something pretty to throw at Tom. Considering how much I paid for each pair, I'm not about to toss them away at an overweight sweaty pensioner. No matter how much I love him (but not THAT way). Leaving them behind after a hot and steamy night with a fella? Whole other story. Not that I have a fella or any plans for hot and steamy nights anytime soon. Ah well.

I've missed my period. Ok, yes that IS a bit personal but I feel as though I can share with you. You're like therapy only cheaper! First of all, I'm not complaining. I don't a woman out there who wouldn't mind missing it now and then provided there was no worry of pregnancy. And no, there is no chance for this Captain (see above). Its just that it caught me a bit off guard. For those who've been reading my blog for a while will now about my various gynecological issues including the ovarian cysts, various medications which have come and gone, etc. Well, a few months ago, after discussion with the fabulous Dr. H, I decided to go off of the birth control. I wasn't getting any "use" out of it anyways (ha ha ha) and I didn't think it was having any effect on my other symptoms. Plus at 35, I was getting uncomfortable about taking it.

While taking it, I knew exactly when I'd get it and how long it would last. Nice. Even after I stopped taking it, my first few were normal, on time, just like clockwork. Now that it's worked it's way out of my system, it seems my clock doesn't know what time zone it's in. I'm guessing this is a sign that my body is back to the way it was pre-pill. What does that mean? Given the interference of the cysts, when I get my period is a bit of a crap shoot. If I get it at all. Maybe I'll just go through an early menopause and won't have to worry about it at all. But then I can't even guess if that's going to happen to me based on my family's genetics since both my mom and her mother had hysterectomies (sp?) in their 40s.

As for the rest of my symptoms or whatever we want to call the stuff that happens to me because of my defective ovaries, it's been relatively mild. I've only had a 2 major attacks of pain in lower bits (and surrounding regions) and those were brought on by ... um ... how shall I phrase this? Hmmm. Well let's just be blunt shall we? If big brother's reading this, I'm guessing he looked away as soon as I said the word "period" anyways. The two attacks occurred following a few delightful minutes with my little vibrating friend. Yes folks, pleasure often equals pain for me. Not always, just sometimes. And it occurs in various degrees - sometimes a mild discomfort, others an agonizing stabbing feeling richoteting throughout my body from my belly button to my hoo hoo, front to back, side to side. Another very good reason I'm not in a relationship - try explaining to your partner that the fun things he just did to you really did put a smile on your face for a few seconds but please, please, PLEASE don't touch me while I curl up in a ball crying in pain and no there's nothing you can do to make me feel better. It's nothing you did. Well, actually yes it is something you did but it's not your fault, I enjoyed it, really I did. Its just that my ovaries got so over excited, they had an orgasm all their own and exploded, literally. Yeah, not exactly an ideal situation is it? And again, just like the situation with my never know when it's going to happen.

Ok, enough of the extremely personal and onto the truly icky. The toe update. Don't worry, no pictures here either. I'm simply too lazy at the moment to get up and grab the camera. I put on shoes today. With relative success. I went out to the mall to get the yarn and underpants mentioned above, and figured the flat, unsupportive flip-flops were just not going to cut it. So I put on my Keens sandals and headed outside. All seemed well, only the occasional discomfort when I'd step funny. Walking was easy and I assumed all was well. Heck, I had even managed to cut off a little bit of the nail this morning which seemed to help. It wasn't until this afternoon that I looked down at it and noticed it had been bleeding again at some point during the day. Not a lot mind you but enough that you could see it. Interesting. And, prepare yourself, the nail is definately lifting up of off the nail bed. FYI, do NOT Google the term "nail bed" if you're squeemish. Big mistake....ugh. Tomorrow I have to start wearing shoes again at work so I'm bringing bandaids with me just in case. If there are any other updates in the next few days, I'll be sure to provide photographic evidence.

Anyways, I must get back to whatever the heck I was doing before I started this very long, very personal post. What was it I was doing? Oh yeah, a lot of nothing.


Red said...

Leaving a pair of lacy knickers behind at some dude's house? What are you, George Costanza? You'll be stealing their carriage clocks before you know it! :D

I shan't look up "nail bed", thank you for the advance warning. Will you be able to dance and sway and gyrate with your dodgy toe at the TJ concert? Hope the toe incident doesn't prevent you from having a super-fab evening. Can't wait to hear all about it!

kelly said...

ummmm....I am truely at a loss for words

Trump said...

Period - thanks for the update. And thank you mother nature for some truly messy, painful, inconvenient pieces of lady equipment. I'd sawp my ovaries for another 2 clitori any day.

As for feet, check this out

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