Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous - Ep7 - * (Asterisk)

Friday, April 04, 2008
Where has the time gone??? Episode 7 already. Well, that calls for a celebration and who better to party with than the tattoo'd wildman from the south of England... that's right ladies and germs. I give you: * (That's Asterisk for those who aren't familiar with the little symbol-y thingy). The A-man loves tattoos, movies, and has a serious Seinfeld additiction. Yes, he IS in a 12 step program but he's still stuck on step 10 - "LOOK TO THE BLACK AND WHITE COOKIE". While we're waiting for an update on his progress, let's see what he's got to say for (and about) himself...

1.Name, Number of Tattoos, highest score on Guitar Hero
Asterisk Truth Nowt. It's difficult to count my tattoos because several clearly have become merged. I think the high count is currently 13. That includes one that will soon be covered, but doesn't include two that have already been covered. By the time you publish this, I will be looking forward to my 35th tattoo appointment, in mid-May. I think my current highest score on Guitar Hero III is 210,000 on the Easy version of "Through The Fire and Flames".

2. Please explain the correct usage of the asterisk (*) in the English language.
Isn't it simply to indicate a footnote? Hmm... is that what I am, some sort of footnote in blog history? Maybe...

3. Describe that exquisite feeling one gets the moment a tattoo gun starts buzzing. Or am I the only one who gets a bit turned on by the sound...?
I love hearing the sound of the tattoo machine (don't say "gun") when I'm visiting a tattoo studio. It's the sound of someone getting new ink, and I want to see what they're having done. When it comes to my turn, though, the first time I get the tiniest bit anxious. I have historically had a tendency to flinch, so I get scared of flinching and ruining the lines. I'm an idiot.

4. Out of the following which one would you most like to spend the day with: Independent George, Relationship George, Coffee Shop George, Liar George, Movie George, or Bawdy George.
Close call between Independent George and Coffee Shop George. Can I go for secret option number 3, Larry David?

5. If Relationship George walks through the door, will he kill Independent George? What happens when worlds collide?
There is a good possibility that Independent George could take Relationship George. I think RG could easily be despatched. IG is just too strong an entity. When worlds collide, said George Pal to his bride, I gonna give you some terrible thrills.

6. You've ditched the publishing world to become a famous tattoo artist. If you could design a tattoo for anyone in the world (alive or dead/real or fictional) who would it be, what does it look like, and where would you put it?
Oh man, when it comes to tattoos, I don't feel very creative. It's hard enough deciding what to put on my own body! I'd get a buzz (pun intended) out of giving Jesus an awesome crucifixion backpiece, I think.

7. Describe the stupidest thing you've ever done.
I dunno. It probably involves overtaking going uphill or something dumb. Nothing terribly exciting, I'm afraid.

8. You're the president of Vandelay Industries, the world's top latex manufacturer and you're looking for a new latex salesman. What is the one question which would determine if you hire someone?
"Do you like to wear latex?"

9. When a piece of cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

10. If it would save someone's life, would you give me the code to your bank card?
You already know it's Bosco, so we're all good.

11.Why is it that no matter what colour your bubble bath is, the bubbles are always white?
Because they're very diluted?

12. Have you ever eaten soup that makes your knees buckle? Did you get bread with it?
like a good soup, but I don't think I've ever had a soup-eating-knee-buckling experience. I wish I had; it sounds great! Bread was probably available, yes.

13. If your blog is about nowt, why do we keep coming back for more?
Because non-Brits don't realize what nowt means.

14. If Winnie the Pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in pots, why did he still eat with his hands?
Because he was a bear and didn't feel the need to conform to human societal norms.

15.'s not a lie if you believe it. What's the biggest lie you ever told and did you get caught?
I call it bluffing.


Red said...

Secret option number 3 is Larry David?! Might as well go for Bawdy George.

Say It said...

what a great interview! I like that cheese can say rickshaw. I thought it would be difficult to say without a mouth,tongue and teeth, but hey, who am I to judge?

Martha Elaine Belden said...

another good one.

and one more time... i'm a non-brit, and i TOTALLY know what nowt means.

jIhAd PuNk said...

Nice one *....who the hell is Larry thingy?

mister anchovy said...

Excellent interview, Captain.

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