Interviews of the Not So Rich and Famous - Ep 18 - Ms. Moneypenny

Sunday, October 05, 2008
Another exciting installment of our interview serious here aboard the Swiftsure. This time around, it's our favourite Canadian living abroad (in Europe...Candy counts as our favourite Canuck living abroad in the western hemisphere), Ms. Moneypenny herself! It's surprising to me when I realize that we've only known each other for about 6 months since it feels like I've known her for years. Incredibly smart (both in the book sense and streetwise), perkier than even yours truly, and 100% badass gangsta girl. Word to your mother.

1. Name, curly or straight, favourite food you can't get at the moment.
Maren, curly (*sigh* the hair will not straighten in this land – 90% humidity on ‘dry’ days), Nanaimo Bars. But from the Bee Bell Bakery – none of this bought-in-Sobeys mix stuff. And pickles. Bicks Dill Pickles with Garlic.

Edit: Neither of those (as delicious as they both sound) would have survived a trip to you in one of my "care packages" I'm afraid. I'll have them waiting for you when you get home at Christmas.

2. You have to enter the Witness Protection Program and you need a new name. What would it be (first, middle, last)?
Why, Ms. Moneypenny of course. No first or middle names needed! But I’d have to be in Russian, so it’d be, uh… Монипэнни. Close enough.

3. The person you testified against has a million dollar bounty on your head and you have to now leave the country. What country do you move to and what identity do you assume?
I’d move to Ukraine and become a farmer. Do you think anyone would come near me as I glow green and harvest nuclear fallout-affected foods? I’d be safe. Me, the giant strawberries and 2 headed cows.

4. You've moved to Scotland to get your Masters in Russian Studies. Russian…Scotland? Did you get on the wrong plane?
Would you live in Russia? Next question…

5. You keep telling us that Scottish firemen aren't as hot as their North American counterparts. Considering they fight fires, isn't that an odd observation?
I haven’t actually seen the lads fighting fires yet – they seem to answer to a lot of false alarms. Which is a good thing. So, using this formula of fighting fires = hot, I’d have to say that they definitely aren’t as hot.

6. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban and why?
Methodological, methodology, anything with ‘method’ that may appear in a seminar in a post-secondary institution… The words are a burr in my butt and they should be stricken from the dictionary. Why? Because I said so.

7. Why is it that Russian leaders alternate between bald, hairy, bald, hairy, bald…? Is it some sort of weird law?
Yes. Закон облыселых людей.

Edit: Ha ha ha ha...!

8. If bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
I’m not really the authority on sandwich meat, but don’t they sell square sandwich meat in the store? I have visions of cooked ham in my head…

But a philosophical answer would be, err, square peg, round hole?

Edit: Thanks. I've now got the theme song from Square Pegs running through my head. You're evil.

9. Best thing about being a Canadian abroad? Worst thing about being surrounded by Scots.
Best - everyone loves Canadians and people always say good things about our homeland.
Worst - In all seriousness, the massive alcohol consumption. Amazing how prevalent alcohol is here and how that differs so much from home. Not to say that I haven’t wholly embraced the Scottish method of socializing…

10. You've mentioned that you've attended a number of Ceildhs since arriving a few weeks ago in Scotland. According to Wikipedia (the bastion of all knowledge), modern "céilidhs facilitate courting and prospects of marriage for young people". Is there something you'd like to share with us?
Ceildh is a misleading term. Round these parts a Ceildh just means live ‘Scottish’ music. There might be dancing, but there’s usually just drinking and live music. No, I’m not husband-hunting. Although there appears to be this expectation that I should be a) hunting for myself and b) for all my single female friends.

Edit: I'm still waiting to hear when you've filled my order...

7 comments:

* (asterisk) said...

Europe is in the west!

Captain Karen said...

Aw shit. I screwed that one up, didn't I? I always thought of the western hemisphere as the Americas...big ego-centric, isn't it? My bad.

Wandering Coyote said...

Great interview again, Karen!

Gardenia said...

I have friends living in Scotland - they also mention all the drinking - - - and I don't know how anyone could understand "the language." Fun interview -

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That was quite an eyeopening interview! You do know the most fascinating people, Captain.

tweetey30 said...

Great answers and questions this time people....

SME said...

Oh man, Bee Bell Nanaimo bars...

No wonder I've lost weight since moving downtown! ;D

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