Bride and Groom Share First Kiss on Wedding Day

Sunday, December 14, 2008
'Tis true. A Chicago area couple is practicing what they preach - abstinence. And they took it one step further. They chose to not only not have sex but even kiss each other on the lips (in an attempt to avoid temptation) until their wedding day. In this day and age of quick hook ups, anonymous sex, soaring rates of teen pregnancies, and a "whatever" attitude towards making relationships work, I have to say I'm impressed by their efforts. By foregoing the physical, this pair was able to focus on what really counted - their relationship. They were able to get to know each other without any pressures, expectations, or disappointments. They focused on learning about the other person, spending real quality time together, and actually having a relationship. While I wouldn't necessarily agree that KO'ing the kissing was a requirement, I think more people could benefit from a "handsoff" approach. When the divorce rate is hovering around 50% and most marriages rarely last past the 10 year mark, doesn't saying "NO" for a bit longer and getting to really know your potential partner a bit better make sense? I'm not saying that a 100% hands off approach until your wedding night is the key to happy, successful marriages. There's certainly a lot more involved to make a marriage/partnership work but this couple's unique approach is certainly worth considering. Hopefully in 10 years time, they'll be able to prove they made the right decision, at least for the two of them.

6 comments:

sp said...

Interesting choice. It probably made a difference that they teach that to students. It will probably work out for them since they both agreed to the relationship's boundaries.

There is so much pressure in our society to get married I think that has a lot to do with the divorce rates.

Wandering Coyote said...

Oh, I have a story about this but I really shouldn't write about it here...

I also have strong opinions about this but am not in the mood to rant!

SME said...

I've heard of quite a few couples doing this, and while it's their choice and none 'o my business...why do they insist on making it my business? I mean, most of the abstinence people are also the people who angrily insist homosexual couples should be deeply closeted at all times, yet they loudly announce to all and sundry their chastity pledges and other *very* personal lifestyle choices. And worse, they want their children to parade their personal choices in front of people, too. At Purity Balls and public abstinence events, girls and boys as young as 11 announce their future sexual choices to complete strangers at the urging of other complete strangers.

That's...a little creepy.

SME said...

Forgot to add: Refusing to even kiss before marriage would put a LOT of pressure on a person. You're expected to go from 0 to 60 without ever having driven before...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Exactly, SME! And what happens if one of them turns out to be a HORRIBLE kisser?

SME said...

Well, the kissing wouldn't necessarily be the biggest problem - people can learn a lot in that department. I'm thinking of people who are total pervs, but as they have no basis for comparison when it comes to sexual fantasies, they'll try to get freaky-deaky with their wife/husband on their wedding night and suddenly realize, "Oh crap, not ALL people like to be spanked with feather dusters while wearing Lone Ranger masks!" Or whatever. A whoooole lot of sexual incompatibility could result from the "marry first, ask questions later" approach.

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