Not My Ultrasound Results

Saturday, November 07, 2009
But if they are, I have some serious explaining to do, and an apology to make to some carpenter from Nazareth.

So...the ultrasound. Yeah. I'm in a bit of discomfort at the moment. Let's just say the technician who conducted the ultrasound did not have a light touch. It was like a deep tissue massage gone wild. And it wasn't just in the area housing my lovely gallbladder; it encompassed my entire torso from my hoo-hoo to my boob-boobs and around both sides, leaving only a small strip about 3 inches wide down the centre of my back which was NOT covered in goop. After pummelling my mid-section, she left to show the radiologist. Returning a few minutes later, she said the radiologist wanted "a few more" pictures so back on my side again so she could try and count each of my ribs through the layers of fat. Oooooow.

Since I hadn't eaten for 14 hours at this point and no water for just over three, I was feeling a bit queasy. The constant one-two punches to my abdomen and sides did not help. Thankfully she finished and offered me two, yes two, whole pieces of paper towel to wipe off my newly acquired gel coating. Let me just say, in case no one remembers, I'm a big girl. I have curves and boobs and deposits masquerading as hips (I do not, in fact, own a pair - my lower half is built more like a boy but with girlie parts). Two paper towels are sometimes not enough to wipe my mouth after a meal. Her solution? If I still had gel on me when I went to get dressed, "just use the gown". Nice.

No clue as to the results but my doctor will get a report. I have to call on Monday and change my phone number/address. No clue why but they had my old address and a phone number I've never had despite having changed it last year. Go figure. If I hear anything, I'll let you know.


sp said...

That does sound like fun. I hope everything is okay.

Heather said...

I almost dropped my coffee cup in shock when I saw that had me fooled for a moment there!


Milla said...

if the baby is due on 25 December, I'll eat my Santa Klaus hat.

I'm sorry to read about the experience. I had an ultrasound scan two years ago adn the nurse (male) was very gentle.

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