The Winds of Change

Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Today, I wore my parka to work. Despite being officially spring, Mother Nature has decided to give us a touch of winter once more. It has been cooler all week with the occasional snow flake or drop of freezing rain but this morning, we woke up to a covering of snow and flakes that still continue to fall halfway through the morning. Truth be told, I enjoyed my morning walk to the office far more than I have recently. The warmth of the parka without being too hot, the fur rimmed hood skimming the sides of my cheeks, the sound of snow flakes (pellets?) hitting the fabric, and the feel of the wind and snow chilling my exposed skin. I’m sure others would think I need to be committed for uttering such blasphemy but it was a beautiful morning in my eyes.

I felt glad to be alive.

And then I came to work. I have written recently about the coworker whom I’m currently covering for. It saddens me to share with you that her husband of 31 years passed away yesterday. He has been extremely ill for a very long time and it was certainly not unexpected. That however doesn’t make the loss any less painful. Fortunately, if there is a fortunate side to dying, is that he (and the family as well) are no longer suffering. Yes, the family is left behind to deal with the grief and the loss but they no longer have to watch him slowly slip from their arms. As well, my coworker was able to spend the past few weeks by his side, sharing every moment together, surrounded by their children in a peaceful and loving environment. It strikes me as slightly morbid but also appropriate to say that more people should be so fortunate.After reading the news this morning, and shedding my own share of tears for my friend, I called Ms. Poo Poo Pants at her new job and another coworker who was off sick today to give them the sad news. Needless to say, neither they, nor anyone in our office is feeling as jovial as we normally do. There is little laughter, no raised voices, conversations are hushed. While few of us in the office met my coworker’s husband, we all know how close the two of them were and how much they loved one another. Their relationship was unusual in this day and age where its rare to be married to the same person for 10 years let along 31. I can’t begin to imagine how this most recent loss (her mother passed away last year) will devastate their family. We are close but not overly so. She’s standoffish when it comes to talking about her family. Guarded. And who can blame her. When you have something that special, I would want to keep it to myself as well.

Today, I will trudge through my day – working mindlessly away at the tasks at hand, trying hard not to think of her grief. At lunch, I will venture outside and embrace the wintery weather once again, feeling the sting on my cheeks and letting the wind catch my breath.

And I will feel glad to be alive.

4 comments:

Heather said...

Being grateful for life is, I think, perhaps the best tribute you can pay to loss. I'm glad to be alive, too.

sp said...

Beautiful post.

Milla said...

Such poetic post, Karen.

tweetey30 said...

Karen that is sad.. But you are totally right about the grieving.. We dont want to see that person go and then they finally do and its like a bomb went off inside our heads of how much they were suffering.. I hope she can cope and come back to work soon and her grief isnt to painful..

I know I have a hard time with my family sometimes. Jeff and I have been together for 14 years this June.. Married only 4 of them but still..

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