WHY OH WHY?

Sunday, December 12, 2010
I have no will power. I just ate a bowl of chips and dip. Its 5:00 in the morning. I feel pathetic, fat and disgusting. So much for my wonderful plans of eating "breakfast" type foods in the mornings and trying to get on track. Sigh. Must get out of this fatgirl mentality. I did take a step forward yesterday but then a step back yesterday (the first bowl of chips) and another one this morning. Arrggggggh. Sometimes I hate myself. Ok, hate's a pretty strong word but I'm constantly sabotaging myself like this. Must move forward.

Speaking of moving forward (eating habits aside), I have news. No, I haven't suddenly become a marathoner overnight, I didn't instantly develop the body of Jillian Michaels, and I am not a lottery winner (damn, damn and double damn). Yesterday, I had coffee (actually a jumbo hot chocolate with whip cream....another step back) with my good buddy, Ms. Jenny Jenn Poo Poo Pants (aka J2P3) - don't worry about the name, its a long bizarre story. Anyways, she's one of the few folks, other than my buddy Wandering Coyote, that I feel I can really talk about all of my issues chronicled here with. She was super supportive and very excited for me. I should point out that she also recently lost ~30lbs on Jenny Craig and is a work out goddess.

Since there are few people I'm comfortable talking about this stuff with, there are even fewer people who I can ask to be extra supportive. I took a risk though and dove headfirst (it helped that the table behind us was talking about marathons and ironmans): I told J2p3 about the St. Patrick's Day race I was planning on running. And then...I asked if she would want to run with me.

She practically squeeeeeed with delight!

To say that she was willing to do it is a bit of an understatement. Without hesitation she agreed to join me. For the next hour, we discussed running shoes, workout gear, plans, training, etc. It was so nice to hear her so excited about the two of us doing this together. It was wonderful! I can't describe how filled with joy my heart was when I hear her practically scream yes!

We won't be running outside likely until the actual race (treadmills for both of us) since winters in Edmonton aren't the best for that sort of thing, although plenty of folks do. And despite excitedly calling ourselves "Running Buddies", we won't be running together until the actual race either. We even discussed how neither of us are "talkers" when we're running/walking. We just want the comfort of someone running beside us while we zone out to our own mp3 players. Neither of us are "runners" yet but we're determined and we've got each other for support.

Step 1. A giant step FORWARD. Despite the chips...

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