The Single Life

Monday, July 11, 2011
Many people might look at me, at my single life, and feel sorry for me. Oh yes, ‘tis true. They see a never-married, 30-something average looking chubby woman who rarely dates (has it really been 3 years since my last one?!), no prospects on the horizon, and they give me that look: the “You poor thing. What’s wrong with you?” sort of look. An odd mixture of wonder, awe, pity, and horror. I’m here to tell you that you can keep your looks to yourself thank you very much.

When I was in school, all of my friends were late bloomers. Most didn’t start dating until university and even then it was sporadic. So what? We focused on other things – school, work, friends, family. Of course we lusted after our fair share of male specimens but we grew up as the oddballs, the kids on the sidelines, wallflowers, and, according to some, freaks. Most of my mainly former-friends are married now, most with kids, even those that thought having children was a horror show waiting to happen. I’m the last single lady in the bunch. Do I care? Yes and No.

Would I like to have someone to share my life with, grow old with, split the bills, do manly things like kill spiders, and snuggle with when the mood strikes me? Of course. I am human after all. For me though, its not one of those things you can plan, unlike my former friend Susie* who was determined to be married by the time she was 30 so she went out and found a man and married him 2 months before she hit the big 3-0. No sir, I’m not that desperate, even as I rapidly approach the big 4-0. Love happens. You can’t force it. I’m not a fan of matchmakers, dating sites, or singles’ events. Part of it is the fear of looking desperate but really it’s the deeply ingrained belief that you should be able to take care of meeting someone yourself. Sadly, the older I get, the easier it is to live without…

Part of me longs to be one half of a pair, to use words like my boyfriend, my fiancé, my husband and not have it be as a punch-line to a joke. But another, bigger part enjoys the single life. I don’t want children. I get the bed to myself – the WHOLE bed. No sharing of covers, no too-hot body next to me (unless you count a small furry cat) or a pair of freezing cold feet. I go where I want, when I want, and with whomever I want. I answer to no one. I get to choose the movie I want to see and don’t have to share the armrest or my popcorn. On the weekends, I love lounging around in my dirty, holey, ill-fitting jammies without my wig on, stubbly head reflecting the light watching sports. The remote control? All mine. I’m the boss. Cooking is for one and its all food that I like.

Will I end up being one of those old maid aunties to my delightful niece and nephew? Quite possibly but I don’t necessarily look on it as a bad thing. Ask me again when I’m hurtling towards 5-0 and I might sing a different tune. For now, keep your dirty looks and pity to yourself please.

*Not her real name.

5 comments: said...

Each to there own and if your happy with the way your life is going then keep it that way.

Dee Ambrose said...

Lots of people find love later on, so it's all good. You seem happy now so no need to worry too much. :)

dana said...

oh so true, my brother never had a girlfriend - he is nearly 35, and friends always used to ask why, what was wrong with him etc, and i always said, he will do it in his own time - and now he has a lovely girlfriend

Elle said...

and then again, isn't it so great to not be in a bad relationship?

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