What I've Been Up To

Wednesday, September 04, 2013
Its been a while.  No apologies.  I haven't had much to say here lately.  That doesn't meant hat I haven't been blogging though.  Yes, its true; I've been cheating on my loyal blog readers with another blog.  Back in June, I set out with a plan to go hard with the walking and hopefully complete that elusive half marathon.  Within a month, I switched to running.  Along the way, there were some problems, mental setbacks, and self doubts but I finally latched on to something that worked for me.  I realized if I'm not enjoying what I'm going, I won't do it. Sounds kinda obvious, no? I pledged to always try to find the joy and fun in whatever exercise I do.  It was going pretty well but I had one moment that made me want to just give up.  Its not really a big deal and I won't get into the details but needless to say I felt let down and, in a way, somewhat abandoned by someone who had been supporting me.  

The old me would have given up, laid on the couch and drowned her sorrows in herb and spice dip and Salt and Vinegar potato chips.  I'm not going to lie; I'm pretty sure that did happen but ... I'm still running. Not far or fast but I'm fine with that.  I don't know if I ever want to run in a race.  The bling is enticing and the thought of proving to myself that I can, in fact, do it is motivating but the desire is not there.  It used to be but now, I could care less.  That surprises me.  I'm running because I want to?  Because I ... enjoy it?!  Who would have thought!  Something else that surprises me?  The support from friends, family and coworkers.  I purposely only told one or two people about my walking/running adventures because I didn't want to face the rest of you when the failure inevitably happened.  So far (fingers crossed), it hasn't happened.  And I'm really hoping I don't succumb.  I really am enjoying it and knowing that I'm improving with each and every run.  And, another shocker, I've even run outside.  In public.  During daylight hours.  When other people were awake and outside.  Never thought that would happen.

If you were one of those folks whom I didn't tell, please don't be upset or feel slighted.  I chose the two people I did because they have similar struggles with weight and body images issues or they're pretty hardcore runners who were once where I am right now.  As my blog has shown over the years, I've started and stopped similar plans in the past and didn't want to drag everyone along until I was comfortable in what I was doing and confident that it would continue.

For now, the other blog is still up along with my other Twitter account (yes, I have one just dedicated to running stuff).  However, I'm not sure how long I will leave it up.  Now that I've broken the "news", it seems pointless to continue with the other blog/Twitter account.  When I started, it was great inspiration to keep moving and reading everyone else's amazing running exploits spurred me on.  For the past couple of weeks though, I've been avoiding both and not bothering to really read any of the running blogs I follow.

Anyways, there you go.  This won't turn into a workout/diet/sweatingtotheoldies blog but there will be the occasional update on my progress (I'm moving from 2:1s to 3:2s!).  Truth be told, I'm missing you guys a lot and I feel like a bad friend for ignoring y'all for so long.  However, it was something I needed to do for me and only me; now, I'm happy to be able to share it with all of you.


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