Its Time for A Makeover

Sunday, May 24, 2015
There are many parts of my life that are currently in need of a makover. This blog is one of them. I'm not sure what direction I want it to go, what I want to say or any idea where to begin but I need a change. The fact that I haven't posted in over two months certainly says something about the role the current incarnation of my blog is playing in my life. I hope that you'll bear with me while the template gets messed with, the layout changes, and the content possibly takes a sudden shift out of my normal realm (don't worry; all old content will remain).

My offline life also needs a bit of a tweak. I'm not happy with how lazy and complacent I've become. The past 6-8 months have been slightly depressing to say the least. Correction, the first 6 of the last 8 months were slightly depressing thanks to the bizarre health problems; the last two months have been unacceptable. I have become lethargic, disengaged, and ambivalent. I want and must change. The countdown to the Calgary Marathon weekend has begun. Updates for Calgary pepper my Facebook feed and it makes me sad. I would love to have participated this year but unfortunately I either couldn't train or, when I was feeling better, just couldn't be arsed. I've made a committment to Robin that I'm taking part next year. I won't bother to register for the half marathon; I think life has told me (at least for the time being) that it is not a distance my body but especially my mind wants to attempt. However, I learned to love 10K so I will be going for it next year. Now to just get off my ass.

Speaking of my ass, I got off it this morning for the first time in months. I headed out for an early morning walk in my new neighbourhood which gave me the chance to listen to Robin's new running-related podcast, Running Coast 2 Coast (shameless plug!). Forty minutes later I hobbled through the front door, one foot in serious trouble and hips, butt, lower, back, thighs, etc were all telling me just how lazy I'd let myself become. I'm sitting here staring at my 10K medal from last year.
Health problems aside, part of me wonders what the hell happened? I was doing so well and then boom! On Aug 24, 2014 I lost my running mojo. I want it back. I miss the Karen who ran, legs akimbo, slower than most people can power walk; the beachball shaped me with toothpick appendages and a big bald melon on top of it all, red, sweaty and barely breathing. I miss her terribly.

2 comments:

Eugene K said...

Sometimes I get really restless with my blog too, especially with its appearance. I don't know how many times I've changed it up. I think that kind of restless creative energy, where you think I've got to push this, or change it up or reinvent it, is healthy and good and when you do it, you might find it inspires you to use the space in new and exciting ways.

I empathize with you on the physical activity front too. With my messed up ankle, I've been severely limited in what I can do and I want so much to walk and swim and be active. Meanwhile, my ankle problem hasn't curbed my appetite....

Wandering Coyote said...

Ah, Karen! Don't be so hard on yourself. I, too, as you know, have had physical health issues that have set me back big time in the last year and a half, and I'm just getting back into the swing of things, too. And I'm in pain a lot as well! We must not beat ourselves up! You've had a lot on your plate, and that affects all aspects of our lives.

I feel shitty all the time now! But we will get through this, and you know you have all my support!

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